Hey all
many of you know this story. But for those who don't well you can read this la.
A life of a Pastor kid or P.K is not easy. And i mean it not easy. Many P.K i know have turn out good powerful leaders, some have become drug addicts, join cults, psychos and even committed suicide. Well, i can say that nearly all P.Ks feel a pressure in any church they attend. many have comp with this pressure, some no. What pressure am i calling about. Is hard to tell you, hard to explain, unless you are a P.K yourself. Some P.K tell you that is the people that is causing the pressure, some the father or mother and some from external force(like spiritual). But really is hard to explain it.
i can maybe tell you how this pressure is upon me. Well, i'm born in a christian family, where my father so happen to be the senior pastor of CBC(Community Baptist Church). i start feeling this pressure when i was 4 years old. when you know you can start walking and talking non-stop. But this pressure was not so powerful till i was like 7-8 years old. Is like everyday i wake up, i know someone is expecting something out me. like read a whole verse or chapter, Speak in tongues, or even lead. Spiritually i was affected too, where i have to fight off thoughts, fight off powers. Is very draining. The worse time is when there is cell groups, go visitation, church. Where everyone is expecting something Holy out of me. Everyday i feel like hiding myself from this world that i was born in. I'm like alone. I also like had a schizophrenia. Even at school, where teachers and my friends and students know that i'm a P.K, i must like good in everything i do. like study and sports.
This pressure got even worse and worse when i was older. i couldn't do anything right. i believe everyone as not my friend, they just something out of me. it was so bad that i thought of suicide. No one that i could talk to about this. i'm alone. destroy. crashed. i had no energy. no self-esteem. no identity. no love. no power. is like i walk on a lonely road. Yea, i'm christian, i believe in Him when i was like 13 years old. I know that he can lift the burdens. i pray about it. there was no different. Everyday i cry myself to sleep. like there is no end to this pressure. No chance to grow spiritually or emotionally. I never wanted to go to church or cell group. Just leave me alone.
So what make me turn around? What change me to a whole new P.K.?
Well, is mom that recognize what happening to me. So she send me away to like seminars on motivations, spiritual grow camp, taking control of your life and many more other seminars. The best seminar IBLP(Basic Life Principal) . Encourage everyone to go for this, is a power pack seminar. I devoted my life to God at the age of 16. I prayed to Him about everything i have when through. Told this to my mentors. The pressure is still there but i'm running the show not pressure. Everyday i committed my life to Him, being transparent. So now I'm what I'm today. full of energy, crazy for God, addicted to Gods Word. everyday sucking new power from God.
Hope i share with you this, will give you a new inside in my life
i'm change man for God.JPTYY xoxo
