Whispers of November Morning appear to me in a late night dream. November has arrive to haunt me twice. How frightful of me have become worsen by cold. I want to cherish the moment of summer warm but the effects of chill has awaken. The slumber has become my dear friend and waking my worse enemy. The days are numbered as I has realize. The days I see ahead of me is waiting to be foretold. I do not dare to be known of this. Scare I tell myself each day. The horror of lessons to be learn has result in many heartaches. I cannot see myself no more I tell in me. Wishing this cup would pass me. Day by day, I wake up to damper spirit. Wishing not carry this burned in me no more. Thinking to myself, a hot sprinkle water could wash away my depress little spirit on mine. Impossible it became. The day goes on. And on. Putting a fake smile to tell the world that I'm pretty alright. Yet sad in heart. I go on my day with a whole much of heartache that I never knew I had.
Pretty white rooms I see each hour with many blue seats that are countless to tell. Color shirts and color hairs I watch pass by every time I sit in my tiny blue seat. Endless chatter I hear in every corner of the room even I participate in this ritual. Running ideas going through my head as fast as my mouth can speak. Silences. Silences. Once a person walks to the desk. The chatter stops. No sound. Only echo of silences around the room. A projection appears in every few minutes. Words inside a rectangular perimeter having some pictures telling of important information that is needed to be known. Scribble. Scribble. All I hear is scribbling. Sheets of paper running through and through. Rushing ink pacing down the lined sheet of paper. Words of knowledge coming from the person in front. Important the person tells. Important must be. Everyone and I are dieing in the person every breath of words that are need to be known to succeed in each term paper. Scary I become.
The clock strike its own hour. Break arrive. No earlier. No sooner. The ritual of chatter once again begin. The person disappear. People moving in and out of the pretty white room. Seats empty and filled. I left to be some where else.
Words racing in my head as I zoom down the corridor. Words of knowledge. Words that I learn. Words I needed to keep. Headache appear to silent my mind up. Pain. Pain I can think about.
The motion of repeating the same pattern each day has become numbing to me. I do not remember myself. I have lose myself to learning. What have I become. The growing sadness in me has become a tree of depression. My mind has become a slave to education. All I know to do is to see screens and remember words in a rectangular perimeter. My tears have become real to me. Reality it seems. Results of test I have taken is not clearly as I want it to be. Tears is only what I know what to do now. Heartaches. Heartaches. I can tell a countless story of it.
Whispers of November Morning has bring great realization to me. I have to continue pushing forward to succeed. My burdens I place upon thee Lord Jesus Christ. I change my focus now. I look a upon You for my hope. You can cure of my pain that I want to glorify you with. My results is your gain and not mine. My life is a tool for You and none mine to keep. Nothing that I do alone by myself is ever greater compare to Your ever lasting strength.
Be my Redeemer. My Savior. My Great Shepherd. My Big Brother. My King. My Lover.
November Whisper has let me know to push on and press forward. Awake I tell myself. Open your eyes. Almost there. Fight to the end. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your know understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path."
I hear the prayers I receive from you all. Do continue to pray for me. Keep me in your prayer. I too have kept you in prayer close to my heart. I need those prayers. It has help me to be focus in class; yet, helps me to go on working hard.
Love.
