Faith

Hey,

I couldn't sleep in today, don't know why? feeling very very weird about it. Cause i'm the type of person who can sleep easily. i think today, God wants me to think about Him right now. i Had a fruitful day yesterday. Well, in the morning at 6am had the most wonderful time of prayer for the 40th day prayer thingy. During that time, for that day, i had a hard time focusing on God, my thoughts just kept running away somewhere. And i didn't like it. Cause mostly this type of time for God, i can control it, i will block out all thoughts of other things and i can just zero in on God insistently. But during that time i just couldn't.

I was frustrated at it. Couldn't take it. So during that whole time i had to cry out to God. I had to shout out of anger. i so want the thought of other things to go. It was so demanding. that whole prayer morning was just speaking in tougues and shouting out Jesus. Only at towards the end of prayer that i could feel the overwhelming power of God flowing through me. the firely flames flowing through my blood stream. My body screaming out of Joy. it was a wow moment for me. that was prayer in the morning for me.

Later, had a small chat with Suzanne, which for me, was a good i think. Cause if you reallies that i hardly talk to any girl in church. i don't know why. i never really had a real conversation with any girls, cause i think i was never really talk serious with them. But yea, had a good conversation with Suzanne. i shall not discuss on what i had discuss with Suzanne. is for you to find out from me and me alone. Don't ask her. Anyway, after that i went home and sleep some more till 12pm.

So i got up and had a bath, and got to work. Calling people up. oh just to encourage them. (If i have not called you yet, don't worry your turn will come). So today, i called up Matt and Anne. It was a surprise to them. i think i made them have a bigger smile on their face. And i prayed for them. It was joyous for me. Then after that had a chit chat with Aunt Jo over some drinks(milo and teh, no alcohol was involved). Is nothing about cell or church. It was more personal stuff. i really do like people talking to me about my personal life. i guess many people are scare to ask how is a PK is doing or he is always fine kinda thing. i think i had never had people looking out for me(sorry if i offended anyone) . Well, to many of you who do not know me personally, i'll be happy to share with you. i can say this 'is not easy being a PK'. Yea, she was checking up on me on how things. Well, i think i needed that conversation, thanks Aunt Jo.

Well, i think is hard for me to share thing with friends. Cause well i guess i come such a different environment. i think many just don't understand me. Well, is just a guess. okay, thank you for those that are looking out for me and keeping me in prayer. Really do appreciate it. thank you. is really hard for me to share my whole life to you, is hard. i tells bits of it. but all. is just hard. That is why i like to forget the past. And live a day at a time. i'm the type who looks forward at the future. i really thank God that He is real. And He is real. So real that He wants to be involved in your life. I really do thank God that i can put my trust and faith over Him. He never fails me. Thank You GOD. You know why some times you call me and you can't get me or i just don't pick up my hand phone. Cause i'm to busy with God. In the zone with Jesus. Till i can really feel Him sitting next to me holding my hand and just making conversation with Jesus. the presences is just unexplainable. i just don't know how to explain. is better to experience it than knowing it. By now, many of you will be think, Joel is really crazy in the head. That all i have to write on this post i guess, don't want to write to long, don't want to make it a novel out it.

So i think is to pray for little Joel here. i'm writing this in the blur. Cause in this morning i couldn't sleep, so just wanted to write something to clear my head. sorry if i write anything to offend anyone. really sorry.

with lots of love,