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Hi,

I got nothing much to post for today. Didn't do much today, just went shopping with mom and dad and then later come back home just sleep some more. That is my day for monday. Maybe tomorrow i will wake up early to train my basketball skills. 730am it will be. Or maybe i just get my project going. Or maybe just call some people up and ask them how they are doing to encourage others. Or just be emo tomorrow.
My days are number. People all around seems to drift away from me. is like me as a fish in a lonely pond and went i move into the crowd, they all disperse. i don't know why. Maybe is just me. Is like everyday i walk a lonely road. Maybe is just me. Is it that i'm to direct with people that people are scare to talk to me cause it might offend you and hurt your feelings? I think i just have end up with no friends. Only Jesus, God, and Holy-spirit is my friend. What is friendship or friend? is it when my friend is down i confort him/her or is it love without any conditions. Where everyday is a fun day with my friends. I think i'm just being schizophrenia. Some times i just prefer to run away. Become some one else in a distant country, change my name, learn a new language.
Well, i can't do it. Cause i love my friends and family. i know that all of you are busy little people doing your own little thing everyday that you have no time for me. haha, i know i'm being self-absorbing/selfish here. i wish that God/Jesus/Holy-spirit could speak back to me. Like having a intimate chat with. Pray seems one way and God might answer back with wait or no or yes or wait longer or just tell you a different answer.
i think is just me being emo today la. I so hate being emo. Doesn't satisfy anything. Hate feelings. It always gives out the wrong signals. Joel, you must be always be joyful cause Jesus is the cause of it. And you must give joy to others around you. You are good at making people laugh and have a crazy time with you. Only you can do that. No more emotions, emotions i die to you, you are out of my life, get out of my house. Don't care about other people think of you, ou just do your own stuff for God, and reach out to new people.

Emo la,