History...

Hi,

Been think about my pass. How i was as a kid, and now, what i have become. As i see it, it is a total change and is almost like a 180° change. Thinking back, i feel so less lively and gave a whatever attitude to things around me. i know many of you saw me last time, i was a lonely kid, mostly angry and emotionally dead. i didn't want to be involve in anything that involves church related. I didn't like what the older people look at me and how they treat me. I didn't want to be around Christians. Cause i felt that I'm constantly judge by people. The feeling is so pressurizing. I felt so box down to almost worthless. I keep asking myself that time, "why am i a Pastor Kid(PK)?", "i wasn't ask to be one".

Even at home is a different feeling from church. At home mostly i didn't get to have fun with dad or mom. Know why? They are at work. Busy with that and this. Mostly i was taken care by my aunts and my grandma. I can almost say that i didn't felt love. Thank God for loving sisters i have. i didn't have many friends in school or in church. Only a few. Having friends also, they were not close friends.

At a very young age, i started thinking of committing suicide. But fail to do it. I believe is God that stop me from doing it. Thank You, God. And then there was a standard that i have to follow. people that set for me. Parents and church people. Just want to leave this world, couldn't take it no more. Is so hard to be love and care.

I had to out think myself. And live a different life style. i thought to myself, if you can't fight as well join it. So i started, being involve with church. Slowly building myself up from the ground. killing my old self. My old self, maybe i was to narrow minded, to hard on myself. Once i started knowing people personally, i felt better of myself.

I knew that God has begun to work in my life. Cause i went Him in my life. Till now I'm growing to be a better person everyday. Learning from my mistake and wanting more of Him. I hope that will be a great example to many and role model. My life back then, seeing it, is so crap. Now is a new beginning. A better me.

Unique,