Friday, July 31, 2009

Inconvenient Version of Paper Cuts

Hi,

It is a real busy day for me. It all started with me getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Massive headache for me. It was so painful that i couldn't move for few seconds. Pain. I didn't like my day because i felt anger in the air. I felt very fragile, weak and worse insecure.

Lunch. It was a family lunch. Not much words were between us. I myself didn't feel like talking at all not a word. My heart was always racing with guilt inside and putting myself i'm really in deep trouble.

Later my parents went for their hair cut, so i drop them off at their respected areas.

Backstory:
First of all, my dad is really angry about the car accident. If you are in my shoes, you would understand my position. i can tell you this that my parents don't like the slights crap out of me, if happen they will lecture me for days and you won't know the end. This has been happening since i was in school. From my grades to nonsense i did to car accidents. In a long run i some how manage to avoid such conflicts like this and told myself to be careful not to trigger it.
I got interrogated by my father. Asking me all sought of questions from people to church surrounding the accident. At the same time advising me all sought of things. In the end i don't know whether what to take in or out. I took all in whatever he said to me, keeping myself silence and only answering yes or no to him.

Later in the day, my parents went to see the car condition. The people say it was worse that before which got me angry. Telling me this problem fix alright the first place, now tell me another problem. Got me angry, my mom got angry and also my dad.

I thought to myself, i got myself into more trouble than before. My dad later told me that i have to paid for the repairs at least half. i said to myself "how am i going to pay this? the told is about 1500 over riggit."

After much talk with the mechanic, my dad told him to fix whatever need fixing and tell me the final price. They agree. We went off to another place to see my mom's close friend pass away.

I spend there crying and destroying myself in many ways. i couldn't take it. I never ask for this problem. WHY? WHY GOD? WHY DO THIS TO ME?!

Home. I quick run to my room and just lock myself in and just weep all over my room. Filling my room with tissue papers. Cry to God for a reason. It hurt me so badly. Death seems like my close friend now.

I didn't want to talk to anyone. Didn't answer my phone. I just cried till it was cell group.

In cell group, i told myself it was God's time now. I should let Him into me. I put a smile on my face. I personally enjoy cell group today. I think the cell group is slowly getting closer as knowing each other more personally. People were enjoying themselves. I could sense God was lifting the people spirits up.

After cell group we went to Aunt Jo house for some light supper. Chit chat.

Now i'm back home. Feeling like crying again. Tomorrow might be a long day for me. I'm going to take care of my little nephew personally one to one. It is going to be challenging which i'm ready for it. I thought to myself sooner or later i have to learn how to take care of a baby by myself. Hope my sister can place her trust on me.

I forgot to tell something. During the day around early afternoon like 2pm. There was a huge car accident. Between a toyota and a cement truck. The accident was pretty cool. The cement truck topple to it's side and the toyota backside got crash.

The backstory:

It was a red light so many cars were stopping already but this cement truck thought it can zoom pass the red light. The bad thing is that many people already stop in front already. So the cement truck couldn't stop in time and the driver didn't want to crash many cars so it brake all he can. The cement truck skidded and topple to it's side. Only one car got involve with the accident. It feel like a movie again. I still can remember the car accident that me and jay and some kids saw. That same feeling with this. IT was crazy. Thank God that there was nobody got injured or even killed.

Later the Police and Fire Brigade came to secure the seem. Many people got down to take picture and take picture with it.



Anyway, see you guys on Sunday or Saturday till then nighty night.

End,


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