Down Hill...

Hey,

Looks like Joel Paul Toh is heading a down hill super low power. I don't know why. Maybe is just me. i see many people in my life have come and gone so fast. People around has see me as the person from the past. I have become no power.

What am i to you now?
What have i done wrong?
Are you pointing fingers at me?

I think people in my life have just lost their inspiration to me. Their fire is at medium. Some thing is not right la. I think i'm beginning to think to run away. Run away where? I don't know. Just run away. I have become a nobody to you. I have die in each of every ones hearts. i have become a shadow of the past. People are not seeing me anymore. What better thing to do than run away. Run away far far far away. Where people cannot contact me, where people are new. As i come to see now that i'm not a role model to others. I'm not a person who has change anyones lives. Lucky me that i'm a background person. i hide in the background, doing the work behind the scene. I think i just want to run away now. run away. My heart is broken. Love is shall not on theses humans. Only God i shall love. Take me home God. i want to leave this planet fast. i have no use to these humans anymore. they have suck me dry already and left me to die. Take me home. Take me home.

crying,

...

Hi,

I got nothing much to post for today. Didn't do much today, just went shopping with mom and dad and then later come back home just sleep some more. That is my day for monday. Maybe tomorrow i will wake up early to train my basketball skills. 730am it will be. Or maybe i just get my project going. Or maybe just call some people up and ask them how they are doing to encourage others. Or just be emo tomorrow.
My days are number. People all around seems to drift away from me. is like me as a fish in a lonely pond and went i move into the crowd, they all disperse. i don't know why. Maybe is just me. Is like everyday i walk a lonely road. Maybe is just me. Is it that i'm to direct with people that people are scare to talk to me cause it might offend you and hurt your feelings? I think i just have end up with no friends. Only Jesus, God, and Holy-spirit is my friend. What is friendship or friend? is it when my friend is down i confort him/her or is it love without any conditions. Where everyday is a fun day with my friends. I think i'm just being schizophrenia. Some times i just prefer to run away. Become some one else in a distant country, change my name, learn a new language.
Well, i can't do it. Cause i love my friends and family. i know that all of you are busy little people doing your own little thing everyday that you have no time for me. haha, i know i'm being self-absorbing/selfish here. i wish that God/Jesus/Holy-spirit could speak back to me. Like having a intimate chat with. Pray seems one way and God might answer back with wait or no or yes or wait longer or just tell you a different answer.
i think is just me being emo today la. I so hate being emo. Doesn't satisfy anything. Hate feelings. It always gives out the wrong signals. Joel, you must be always be joyful cause Jesus is the cause of it. And you must give joy to others around you. You are good at making people laugh and have a crazy time with you. Only you can do that. No more emotions, emotions i die to you, you are out of my life, get out of my house. Don't care about other people think of you, ou just do your own stuff for God, and reach out to new people.

Emo la,

FestUp!

HeShe,

Today was any exciting day. Cause i was hype up over the YC teaser. It is because i'm the artist behind the drawings. Hope many of you like it. i did my best. Anyway, it is also a long time that my dad has peach at CBC Subang. i actually do enjoy listening to my dad's sermons. I like strong sermons. where it challenges the mind and heart and spirit. I think my dad over the years of listening to his sermon has become now even better then when i first listen. I not saying that the other pastors sermons are not good, they are beyond good. They are excellence and powerful.

I always like the word that my father use a lot. Which is love is obey, obey is love. And is very truth. I think this is should be the very bottom of our hearts. Love and Obey goes side by side. God loves us so much, and in return we should obey with all our hearts. That should be the first thing, Obey.

Anyway, besides today church. A bunch of us went to eat at ming tien near pyramid. It was a fun and crazy time. Talk alot of crap for me, i didn't know what was going on the other table. Maybe they were discussing about some politics or BGR or GG or some other show or i don't know. I don't really like discussing all does things expect for shows or movies or crap. BGR and politics is not my department of interests. Well for me i just like to make people laugh and do crazy things. Just to see peoples faces happy and smiling is just a site to remember. And it also makes me glad that people are enjoying their time spent with me. Thats for me.

So tonight was lantern night, i and a bunch of us went to eat at f4(meteor garden) was quite ok la. everyone just don't know what i'm calling about the food. Oh well that is the problem when you can't speak chinese. After that we went to Aunt Jo place to play with lantern. And for me, i don't like lantern but i like fire. Seeing the site of fire is just so pleasing to me. Warm heart. =)

i guess it is pretty much today events that happen already. What will tomorrow be?
the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift.

Memories...

Oh Hi,

My day started slow. I wake up to the ringing of my mother's voice in the morning at 10plus am. To find out that she wants something from me which is to go online and pay the deposit money for my admission to Liberty University. Yea, my mother found out that they were giving a huge discount before the 15th of September to all students, who are applying. So for me i was half-dead in my sleep trying to concreted on what my mother was scolding me all about but i couldn't careless. Anyway, the payment was online and it was quick, less then 10 minute it as done. And at the end my mom was happy that it was fast and painless, so she left me to my sleep.

Then i went back to sleep, with so many dreams to remember. The dreams were the good, the bad, the fun, and the ****ness. Woke up to the sounds of workers drilling some stuff near by my house, actually opposite my house. The neighbor was doing some minor rebuilding work to his house. So i had to wake up and take a shower and went for lunch. As i was walking down to the tv room, i was shock that my dad was at home. Usually he and mom are most not at home during weekends. They are always attending some kind of meeting all the time. In the end, i have to buy lunch for my dad too. And you know what he wants for lunch, Asam mee. And i do not know how to order that. My dad have to teach me how to said it.

After lunch i was quite sleepy and wanted to sleep. And then i hear a loud buzzing sound coming from my bedtable. The sound of x-men theme song playing and vibrating on the table which was rattling all over the table. i recieve a call and a sms. Which the person wants me to go play basketball at 4pm. So i say yes, i was planing to sleep the whole day to rest my this human body. i wake up to the sound of my alarm clock ringing when it is time to play basketball. i was so tired and was like dead. i was not on form. So i played a slow game.

Cause i wanted to be ready for a more bigger event which was at night. The night i was able to be in contact with all my classmates from Sri Sempurna. To see them face to face again after 2 years was like going to school again. And most of them didn't change much, maybe their hair and style. But i have a lot of fun. Such old memories of each of everyone of them is so heart warming. We have our laughs, sadness, seriousness, crazyness and studyness. But the worse thing was that all of them are in college already and all of them say to me 'what are you doing?' and i say 'bumming'. They were all stun cause i'm bumming for 2 years. So yea, Joel Mr.bummer. I had my great time with them in the party. In the end, we might be meeting another time at the end of this month.

i think i have a great saturday, I watch futurama movie again to have so good laughs. And to know what is that creature name. It is YIVO. OMG la.

Sunday is going to be great...come and celebrate at CBC Subang-Sunway, where great things are happening. smiles everywhere. =)

Another Day of Information Overload!

Hey,

Today was another great session with Mr. Ron Choong. And is a good topic that he touch on. It got me to understand God better and the things that man tries to imagine what is God. I can't tell you much. But for you to go for it and hear it yourself or just go to his website. There is many things he spoke about and is very insideful. And all this thing we say we know, but some how we can't explain it to our friends. Anyway, is good stuff la. Really Enjoy what he talk about.
i like what he say about us Christians, That there is two types of Christians. Which is Believes and Faithers. Believes are type of Christians that still need reassurents and need to be spoon feed by God. Where Faithers are Christians that no need to be spoon feed but they are the ones leading us and helping the Believes to become Faithers. Is like a child, where he needs his parents to guide him until the child makes a point in life where he does need his parents guidence but the child knows that his parents are watching him always. That is all i need to post.

Another thing is that Gossip Girl that i know that have shown a squash scene. You tell me what show shows you a squash scene. And it is Chuck and Lord Marcus playing squash together. I wonder how they shoot that scene. Gossip Girl has lift up to their standards. A squash scene. Just WOW. =) can't wait for episode 3.

processing,

God is just marvelous
in His design, His creation, His art
Just wanna Praise YOU GOD.
I ADORE YOU!!!

Infomation OverLoad!

Hey brainys,

Today i just when to most overloading of information. Is a seminar. That my dad and mom ask me to go, so i follow them to it. And the speaker, is none other than any other remember of our church, Mr Ron Choong. He is such a informative person. I can just sit there and just listen to him going going about whatever he wants to say. And in fact he is a very interesting person i ever meet. Oh today seminar is about the bible and how it came about...crap i just forgot the title. Anyway, the talk is actually a summary. His talk was very very insideful i have to say. And he has shade new light about the bible. i think i shall not type about it in this post or any other post cause i might break or hurt many if i tell you all. i'll just put this, inerrancy, trustworthy, inspiring, authority. And God word is more than sufficient for us to live and if know to much is going to hard for us. Err...this is a joke that i thought of the bible, that the bible has a acronym which called

Basic Intructions Before Leaving Earth

HEHEHEHhehhehheHEHEHHE......is not real ok...is just a joke. Don't take it as real ok. The bible has no acronym. The bible has its' meaning. And he(Ron Choong) didn't tell this ok. I just figure in my head and is funny. (man i'm like my dad...AHAHAHhhaaahhh...so LAME!) >.<. Anyway tomorrow is about other religion. Is a Must Go For All of Us...it will help us to understand our friends better and be more easier for us to reach out to them. Actually we can bring them along to this seminar...cause they can ask any questions. i promise it will be fun. Please go for this. Tomorrow as in friday and i know is life group and i know we are having excitment in the lifegroup now. But is good to go for this. Friday at FGA at 830pm. speaker Ron Choong.

Downloading,

Update!

Heyllo friends,

there is a update on the Monday, September 8, 2008 on the list, hehe. click "here" Forgot to put in one thing la. Which is a pendrive which also i need a lot la. i don't need so many, just one will do. i know on christmas day i sure get about two or three or even none. Well i just need it la, i don't want to bring my ipod cable every where and is toublesome. But a pendrive is small and easy to carry around and it will be cool to have one =). Well i don't need so big or to small the gb space. Around 2gb to 4gb would be just fine. I do really need one to come to think of it. Hope i'll get it for christmas or birthday, hehe.

pendrive pals,