Still Water Drips

Hello Readers,

My life seems to be on the edge of cliff. I do not know how to explain my situation. At times i just feel inside that i'm a lie or deception. I guess i'm in all this mess is because of the choices i made in the past.
Many times i just think back and wish i was in a wealthy family.
The education i can have, the things i can get and enjoy life with no worries.

I'm not saying my family is not doing well.
My whole family are slightly above average family.
Until my parents turn missionaries.

Now actually the problem is my education. I'm in university now. Doing very well academically but financially not so.
Everyday i pray by myself that someone would help me financially like pay for my education in whole.
I want to be physical therapist. The line i'm going in is very expensive as similar to being a medical doctor.
I just cry myself to sleep.
I wish like those stories in the newspaper or TV like some wealthy person just wants to bless an individual life because the rich man wants to see person dream to be come true.

So i'm a missionary kid. Who need money to continue to study in the states. Help.

Love,

Like a Floating Leaf

Hey Fellow Readers,

It has been awhile that i have post something here. heh...
A little something about how i am now. I'm doing pretty good. School is bit tough on me because i'm having exams now. I have two more exams to take: Exercise Science 101, and Bio 213
I'm stressing much over my bio exam. there is so much information to take in for this final exam. It is everything that i have learned over the whole semester. Crazy huh?

Other than stressing over exams, I am really excited to go back home during Christmas. Get to see family and friends. Good to always see familiar faces.
My relationship with God is great unique experience. My journey with Him is just breaking new ground. I belief He has laid the foundation in me and now is building a structure in my heart.
My thinking, attitude, character has become more concreted in His truth.

Besides news about me, i have been following the NBA news. i'm such a big fan for the game. There is too much news surrounding Christ Paul now. The poor fellow has to endured much pain from the league because he is currently not allow to be traded. He was suppose to be traded to the Lakers. This is blockbuster deal. The league, NBA, deny of this trade simply saying "basketball reason."

Basketball reason is nonsense. The league is just afraid that it will turn out to be another power team like Miami. Dumb. Real Dumb.
I can only shake head at this deal. It is really a wrong move from David Stern (NBA boss).
I don't want to go any more deeper with this issue.








I'm glad that i'm coming from home. First Christmas back home. So exciting!!!!

love

Days to Memories.

Hey Fellow Readers,

I have been to few dark spots in my life this year.

Receiving so many flash back. 

The horror past creep back up to me brings chills to my spine. 

I do not want to remember my past.

I want to learn from my past to do better in my future.

Where are my friends when I need to comfort.

Do my friends know me well enough to call me their dear friend 

or  am I just another friend to be used to do things for others.

Loneliness knows how to come back up huh.

I sick of this already.

I guess I never took the time to invest my life with people around me.

Many times i wish i have mentors to guide me.

Have I not been open about my life to others.

My heart break everything  when others don't grow.

I cannot belief. 

So....

My school life is making me busy. 

I have a tight schedule with work just pile up 

Do pray for me.

That i will be on top of things with school work and exams. 

I want to finish strong. Giving glory to God the results that He wants me to have. 

Please pray for me. 

Another note...

I'm coming back for Christmas. 

Till then. Next post. 

Nighty night.

love,

The Great Awake

Hey Readers,

This year is my junior year in university. They say junior year will be the toughies year. Seems to be very true. The work load is different. Understanding of the subject is different too.
I have been studying my brains out this whole semester. I thought I was going crazy. But now many things have die down and the pace is more light. Hopefully it stays that way. I want to finish school badly though yet at the same time I want to continue to study. Wanting the best of both worlds.
In my times of study, i have grow more to understand God's Word better. Like when I read a portion of scripture or a chapter i'm able to understand the author's background and with wisdom know what God is talking about.
I guess God has bless me to know his Word proper but special thanks to Liberty.
(side track: Liberty University is a great place to get an education. The teachers here are in love in God and passionate in their teaching. The best part is that the teachers incorporate their lessons with God's true. Liberty University makes sure you are in track with God's Word.)

The more I think to myself. I really want to get a degree already. Do the work that God has called me into and let Him guide my steps.
I like it here. Life here is a little lay back. However, no place is better than home. Well i would like to work here for a long time and retired in Malaysia. But i cannot see to far in the future. I must let God be my guide. (Proverbs 3:4-6).

I'm trying to keep this blog alive somehow. So i'll try to post whenever i can. till then God bless.

Joel

It Got to Me Softly

Hey readers,

Studies got the best of me. I have become a slave to it. My time is surrounded by it. The call of study is so tempting. I cannot run away from studies. It needs me as i too need it.
The books filled with knowledge messages my mind to the fullest. i cannot help myself but have knowledge. Everything is a past to me.
I do not know how to speak no more except to study.
The voice calls me day and night. Await me to hold it close to feel the beating heart.

My eyes have been glued to the letters in each book. Making sure i spell rightly the word in each class. I cannot do anything else. It does not allow me too. The world is in my past. A slave i have become. What i have done to myself. Surrounded by this temptation i cannot take no more.
I cannot escape from it. My future depends on it. What must I do?
My heart cannot feel no more. The love of my life has disappear like a paper cut. I cannot run. I cannot hide. I cannot fight.
What must I do?

Studies have won the battle of my heart. Buried in the books that tempt me. Each words are binding to my hand and feet. Slows me down in each step i take move away for it.
What must I do?

i see my hands no more. i write on myself in order feel again. Letters i recognize that use to be life to me. Each day i remind myself Life goes on.
What must I do?

Papers to write. Names to remember. Pages to read. Knowledge to know. I cannot handle no more. A slave i become. There's no rest. There's no love in books.
I do not remember myself no more.
What i have become i do not see.
Tears roll down my cheek each hour.
Feelings i do not understand no more.

How to live again?
What is love?
What is joy?
What is me?
Is this depression i see?
It cannot be...

Studies Studies you got me. Reading has become me. Knowledge has become a memory.

I have to get back to books. It lures me into it. I cannot fight it. Prayer i seek. Help!!!

The Dug Hole.

Hey Readers,

I'm running out of stuff to write. haha
College has been very pushy with me. The amount of work required for each class is just crazy. It just makes me to have no life. I got four exams this week. I'm so not prepared for it. Just not prepare. Do pray me people.

I need to place down order of my life. Time management. Follow it like a routine-ness dog. 

I feel my life is spinning out of control. The path the Lord has directed seems blur-ish. I can see just few steps in front of me. I wish that God would just tell me and give me assurance.
However, i belief deep down in me God is test me in my faith and trust because He wants to take my deep in the relationship with Him. Pray for me please.

Other in my mind.
I want to go back home. I miss having Christmas at home with my family and friends. I like having Christmas here and all but nothing beats home. Everyday i think of home. home sick.

Anyway, I love you guys, pray for me and God bless.

love,
Joel

A Whirlpool of Emotion

Hey Everyone,

My school life this semester is going pretty alright. I think i have most of my class under control and keeping up with my homework on top.

Exam week is coming up in fact is this coming week. I have two exams on Monday, one on Wednesday and one on Thursday. Crazy huh? Do pray for me.

okay, i have a question. There this person in class that i want to ask out. So what do i do to ask that person out?

love,
Joel

Jesus Christ loves you ;)

Back to Reality

Hey everybody,

WOW. i haven't been in my blog for a pretty long time. I think is time for me to bring revival. Rain down fire.

If many of you are wondering where i have been. Here is my input.

During my summer i went back home to Malaysia. It was most needed for me because i was really stress out from my semester at school. I kinda enjoy my summer a little. I did not really relax but i work instead.
The work i was involve was not what i say enjoyable but do-able. I was helping out my mom's friend that does a exhibition every end of July. This exhibition is to promote new AV (Audio Video) products. Many companies around ASIA come to this event.
The work that i was involve was to help the exhibitors to their respective booths and their other needs. Stress. For one thing i'm not an administrative guy.

That was my summer. I did not did anything fun like go travelling or go on a eating spree. (I wish i had though but no time).

Now i'm back at school which started on August. Ever since then i was busy as a bee can get in fact more busy . The classes that i'm taking this semester is Bio 213 and 214 (hardest class ever), Coms 101, Exercise Science  class and Creation Studies and Archery. YES, ARCHERY (always wanted to learn it).
my classes this semester seems easy but they are hard like crazy.

Another situation is i change my major. I realize being in Kinesiology is not leading me to the path i wanted but i change to something similar Exercise Science. I want to go into physical therapy.
I belief that i can help more people there and sharing the gospel there would be a great too.

That's a little something from me today. Hope to post more soon. Anyway another time. Bye